Courage v/s Motherhood...this is what Surrogacy is all about

I was just reading an article on surrogacy in Sunday Times today which made me think.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Surrogacy_stays_within_the_great_Indian_family/rssarticleshow/3932684.cms

Motherhood is such an important phase of a woman's life.Every woman dreams of this miracle to happen to her at some point in her life.The gift of life being passed on is something inexplainable.The patience to go through pain and joy for a good 9 months is something soo hard to think of .
And then for women who are in-conceivable it must be a real hell to imagine that they cannot enjoy the gift every woman has in her. The pain to realise that you cannot have a biological child by yourself. Am sure its soo much of a void for such a woman, emotionally and psychologically hard for her to accept that she is incapable of having a biological child of her own.And then in the times of such desperation to have surrogacy into consideration is such a brave act.As far as i am aware, Surrogacy could mean sharing your womb , giving birth to a child whom you are going to relinquish to a childless couple.And i also know that there are different types of surrogacy.Where the biological mother becomes a surrogate to relinquish her child to someone else or could be a woman who gives birth to a child using IVF (conceiving through the eggs/sperms of donors). This practice has been quite controversial around the world and there are no clear legal rules applying around surrogacy, but i am not intending to go there.

The article that i read today made me realise that it takes a lot of courage for both the childless couple and the surrogate to get into this partnership(sorry for the use of such a word). For the couple its more of an acceptance issue-that the child was not biologically theirs...their genetic lineage going haphazard and the issues related to identity of the child.It takes a lot of courage to look beyond this road-block for a couple and accept their child with all their love.Its truly respectable to break the social norms related to a child's biological identity and fingerprint and open doors to a wider perspective.And for the surrogate mother to go through the ritual of motherhood, shower all the care and kindness over a child she wont be able to call her own, is again courage defined at a different level.Yet again the reasons for entering surrogacy could be anything from helping a family member to monetary reasons.But whatever they may be , it takes a lot of will power and determination to give away a child you nurtured for soo long.To fight this conflict needs a lot of emotional and physical strength.

Whether people around the world or rather the section which we term 'society' accepts surrogacy, attempts to make it legitimate or not, i really salute the 2 parties who go forward into this act.Especially the surrogate mother who breaks the barriers surrounding her to bring joy and hope into the barren life of a childless couple.Ultimately it all boils down to will power and sheer courage to get into surrogacy.

Personally i don't think i will have the courage to go through a surrogate to bring up a child of mine(if it might be a case for me) but definitely appreciate couples who choose this.

'Not-Comfortably' Numb

All of us come face to face with different emotions...Some easy to handle some really hard to describe..I am writing about one such emotion i am going through right now which is so strong that it hasn't left me from the past couple of days...And that is the feeling of being 'numb'... Feeling a sense of hollowness and numbness after following all that s happening in our nation,our city, our Mumbai.

I have never been to Mumbai before...never really had the chance to travel...but honestly i have never felt closer to Mumbai than now. After seeing what literally is 'War in Mumbai', following it for 4 days in and out...i feel like i am in Mumbai though am far far far away from it. I ve never followed an act of terrorism soo closely like how i have done in the past 4 days.My God 4 days is such a long time...4 days of gun-fire...4 days of innocent killings...4 days of bloodshed...4 days of anxiety(for the loved ones)...4 days of ghastly activity...charring lives...monuments....and most importantly memories...
I have always read about terrorism...heard about it on television...watched it being faked on movies in terms of entertainment...but never really watched it closely to feel the pain that goes through it....

My first real encounter with the after-effects of such gruesome acts was during Sept 11th this year when i was travelling from New York to my New Jersey office..I could see people paying homage to the victims...crying for the loss of their innocent loved ones...saw the angry slogans of organisations against the brutality...the least i could do then was feel sorry and count my blessings that such an act of terror will never happen to us in future...


Well i guess i was wrong then- while i see the gruesome acts on Mumbai...devastating our financial captial...bringing it down to its knees for 4 days...makes me realise that terrorism is indeed a world-wide phenomena...anybody could be a victim of it...even as i write maybe somewhere my fate is being cornered...or maybe not...We ve all played games when we were kids...i wish i can play games with God today...wish for an Aladdin lamp...rub a genie out of it...ask for just '1' wish....to take these 4 days back in history...make it such that these 4 days never happened in our lives...get all the innocent victims back to life...bring our brave martyrs back to life...





It was soo horrifying to watch all that happened these couple of days...to watch people being killed indiscriminately..being a hostage to a carnage they dont deserve to be a part of...losing their valuable lives in a way they dont deserve to...The impact on their kin is soo strong...that i feel soo small in comparison to the people who braved it out of the act..I definetely cant say that i can feel what it would be like going through an event so horrendous...but i can definetely say that i could feel the horror...the pain(of a spectator to this event) and more importantly feel the anger boil through me....the anger on how can one value life so little and create such a massacre...
Day 1(or rather Night 1 , the 26th)- i thought it would just be something like the previous few attacks on the city which will not have a huge impact
Day 2(27 th) I read , i see , i hear the terror unfold...hear about the loss of the 3 high end cops being shot point-blank during the attack...feel horrified at the turn of events..I really wished i could have visited the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai before all this happened...wished i had seen how it is to be in a crowded CST station...wished i had seen what the place Nariman Point is all about..wished this terror would stop


Day 3(28 th) I feel totally numb...unable to concentrate at work...unable to keep my eyes of the browser opened onto the latest news...hoping..praying..wishing the carnage has come to an end...
Day 4(29th)numbness continues but with a sigh that the people responsible to this act have perished and met a similar death like those whom they had victimised.I just wish they got tortured before meeting their death.

I knew i could do very little to what was happening in Mumbai but very strangely following news,reading about the incident by the minute, listening to interviews about hostages who managed to escape free,listening to the brave acts of the employees of the Hotels(Taj and Oberoi) and constantly keeping myself learned about the situation was like my contribution to protest and detest such an act.I wish i could do more...but am glad i could pray with the entire nation and stand united.

The Prestige

Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts.

The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't.

The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back.

That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige".

There are some movies which you can watch many times and each time you do, you notice something new and appreciate the movie one notch more. Prestige is one of those kinds for me. Each time I see it I realize I missed out on something , and this realization keeps me grounded on to every scene as though I am seeing it for the first time.

The first time I watched it, I was at the edge of my seat trying to follow the superb plot.

The next time I watched it, I knew the plot well but while I was running the plot in my head, I realized how fine and extra ordinary the performances given by each actor were. Like, when you watch closely you realize the difference in acting of the 2 ‘different’ characters portrayed by Christan Bale which is a brilliant feat. But what really tricks the audience into not noticing these finer and significant things in this movie is the magic of the movie itself-its plot. Its got its pledge, turn and prestige in the right places and happening at the right time. Being the complex movie that it is, the execution of the movie is soo good that you don’t feel lost between characters, situations, time and the performances.

Set in the nineteenth century in London when the magicians formed the crux of the entertainment industry. Its about the 2 central characters-

One a maverick(Alfred Borden)- who wants to break free from the traditional reams of the magic world and try tricks which are never tried, one who doesn’t shy away from experimenting on his ideas. The other a quintessential go-getter (Robert Robert) who wants to play dirty after he loses his wife in the middle of a magic act gone horribly wrong due to Alfred.

The entire movie is the never ending war between these 2 characters to prove their vengeance on each other, to prove the better magician in each of them, the self sacrifices each made to get the other down.

My favorite element of the movie apart from the plot itself is the narrative or the screenplay. Most of the movie is shown from Robert Robert ‘s point of view , but its not one sided though. Justice was done to bring out the good and bad shades in each character without being partial to portray it as how Robert see’s it. It’s generally very difficult a task to achieve something like this when the plot moves back and forth between time and between the prejudices of the characters at that particular point in time. You really can’t point your finger and say- yes I think Robert was right or Alfred was right, the director never gives you a chance to empathize with one particular character at any point in time. You know that each can go any lengths to get better than the other-so no one’s right and no ones wrong. So who then is the protagonist of the entire movie-again it falls down to the brilliant plot.

Good dialogues can really change the movie and this one has quite a number of them. Some of them want you to find out the real trick in the movie but you wont be able to figure it out soon, because you are not watching(or rather hearing) closely ;)

A mention must be made on the superb cast of the movie- Christan Bale is one gem of an actor and portrays the character soo earnestly that not once would you doubt the twin element involved in the entire movie ,till the last 5 minutes when the noose is let free .Hugh Jackman is superb in his quest to put Alfred down and take revenge and be proven as the better magician amongst the two. I would probably call this character foolish but without him the movie wouldn be any exciting as it turns out to be.

Enjoying this movie really boils down to this – ‘Are you watching closely?’ :)

what kind of F.R.I.E.N.D am I?

Which "Friend" Are You?

My Result: Monica

Mon! You're the normal one, honey, in the best way possible. You're caring, you're responsible, you look to the future—what a gem. Wait a second, did you just start editing for grammar mistakes in the middle of reading your own compliments? Ok, so you like things, well, the way you like them. But even when you're smiling through clenched teeth, waiting for everyone else to get with the program, deep down, you're really still smiling. You're just waiting for that impatient moment to pass.

When it comes right down to it, you are thoughtful, meticulous, and good at what you do. As for romance, you can be a little picky and want things to be just-so. We wouldn't expect anything less. And like the original Monica, if you can avoid rushing into things, you'll find the right match and all the happiness your sweet, finicky, heart deserves.

Take this test >

An evening well spent

Many Saturday evenings come and go,but how well we spend them is all what it takes to make it a beautiful one.I had one such Saturday evening yesterday.After finishing my last lab exam of my engineering career,little less did i want to get back to my books cause that wasn't the agenda of the evening,at least not for a few days now.
There lay an invite to the Annual Day Celebrations of my brothers company at KTPO for the evening at home,and a little birdie told me there was Shaan performing for the event.And that was enough for me to decide that i had to see Shaan live...yeah a live concert after such a long time.I wanted to go and so did I.
The drive to KTPO was a long 26 kms!!! and who knew the world out there would be so different from the quiet suburbs we live in.All along the way we were embraced by the thriving real estate industry.KTPO was a huge place,I think KTPO is the single biggest closed stadium housed in Bangalore.
Well the Celebrations were good,all the preparations taken by the participants to put up their piece of entertainment was worth watching and appreciating,cause it was the employees of the company who graced the entire evening.Reminded me of my School Day celebrations when we would take an entire week off to prepare our piece of dance or skit with such great fervor,that the excitement dies only after the performance is over and appreciated.Anyways the evening was at its best with Mandira Bedi and Roshan Abbas trying their best to MC the event in sync.After the entire grand setup of the evening i kept trying to calculate how big the company is right now considering it was started some 30 odd years back,its shares doing consistently well in the market,the company acquiring such prestigious projects in the country and overseas.I kept wondering how rich the CEO of this company is right now and how he must be to be listed as one of who's who in the richest people in India, to win the Economic Times CEO of the year award.Wishing i could have been directly a part of his lineage,to be able to enjoy in first hand all the grand and warmth and luxury and success of such an amazing entrepreneur.I kept wondering how such a person would be in real life.
When he was called on stage to give away the awards for the evening.I was taken aback.I mean many a times you think of a particular person or situation in your own way and expect it to be the same in reality,but when you actually face the reality you are so stumbled and realize how wrong you were.
I kept thinking ill see the CEO as a man clad in a thick black suit,a tie with a commanding stride after all thats what we believe successful,rich people have in them.But to my surprise onto the stage came this simple attired man,with such a humble walk,like any ordinary individual.And when he spoke he didn't once use the word 'I', he always addressed as a 'WE' and spoke only about his team of Executives and in fact called them onto the stage to give away the awards along with him.This humility which i saw in this man made me think,made me feel small and also realize what great,successful people are made of.If you recollect you realize achievers are those who are humble,be it Kiran Bedi,Ramachandra Guha,Sudha Murthy all of them have it in them and thats what makes them all soo respectable.One lesson learnt i thought
.
Yeah the reason i came for the event finally turned up at 8pm,he was the show-stopper of the evening and one of the very good singers in the Hindi music industry and one of my favorite singers Shaan (Shantanu Mukherjee).Boy-o-Boy did he have a golden voice or what.Singing along,dancing to his tune and listening to him live was such a bliss.


This was followed by a massive dinner,nope i would rather call it a banquet.Cut straight from some story book,this was a huge room filled with food ranging from Italian,Mexican,Chinese right till our very own South Indian "masala dosa" and yeah the best part was it was all Vegetarian.To my surprise one corner of the banquet hall had heaps of fresh fruits being cut and served individually making you feel like a prince/princess.Now thats what u call 'Employee Satisfaction' i thought.Eating such good food and listening to the melodious voice of Shaan was a very nice way to relax.
Now for the second lesson 'Employee Satisfaction'.Never hesitate to spend on people who mean the most to you is what i realized i learned from the entire evening.
Well i came here expecting nothing,and returned back learning a few things from a great entrepreneur...And yes the long drive back home in the middle of the night in top gear was superb too.... :)

Some of my favourite Quotes

We come across people with various hobbies.Collecting stamps,collecting coins,collecting sweet wrappers,collecting used match sticks blah blah.One of my hobbies over the past few years has been 'Collecting quotes'.You dont need to be a great thinker or a philosopher or a rocket scientist to make sense,sometimes even what a toddler utters out casually can be really thoughtful.Such are my collection of quotes.Gathered from reading,listening to people around and sometimes even dialogues from my favourite movies and tv shows :).I have a huge collection , which is very dear to me,maybe because of the meaning on reading/hearing them or by the meaning i derived when i read/heard them first..My collection of quotes has been my unknown source of strength for quite sometime now.
Nevertheless I have shortlisted a few very interesting ones.Read along and enjoy.

• Every crown is made for a head,but not every head for a crown.

-Unknown
(This is the most inspiring quote i ve ever come across and remains my all time favourite)

• Dreams are not what you see in sleep.Dreams are those that do not let you sleep.

-Dr.Abdul Kalaam.

• Experience is what you get when you dont get what you want.

-Unknown

• Conscience is the best friend you can ever hope to get.

-I really dont know whose original words were these but i vividly remember my English lecturer in Puc say these words,these were the only few words that he had ever uttered which made sense to me.

• Everything is funny as long as its happening to someone else.

-Unknown

• Its better to deserve an honor and not get it,than to get one and not deserve it.

-Mark Twain
(I ve had first hand experience of this in BMS campus,so i would rate this quote really high.)

• You dont drown by falling in water, you drown by staying there.

-Edward Louis Cole

• It doesn matter if you are the King or the Pawn,in the end,both come back to the same box after the game. - Unknown
  

• Life is not about the number of breaths you take,its the number of moments that take your breath away.

-Dialogue from the movie 'Hitch'
(Its soo strange how true small little sentences like this can be,i loved this quote,loved the movie, love Will Smith !!!!!!!! :) )

• Opinions are like watches,everyones watch shows a different time,but everyone believes that their time is correct.

-Unknown,but am sure a lot of you guys will agree with this one.

• Never believe that the lines on your hands lead you to your destiny.because even those without hands have a destiny.

-This was an sms forward which i read.Makes a lot of sense.

• Love is not love,which alters when it alteration finds.Or bends with the remover to remove.Love alters not with brief hours and weeks,but bears it out even to the edge of doom.

-Being a huge Shakespeare lover,my collection of quotes would be incomplete without his words.

Sholay-The Best Hindi movie i ve ever seen or rather ever made...

"यह हाथ नही फासी का फंदा है ,यह हाथ हमका देदे ठाकुर "

Pardon me for my delay in watching a movie as great as "Sholay", when i am 20 something...i really regret watching it soo late...regret enjoying such a masterpiece after being made about 3 decades back...not being able to rejoice a 4 hour long beauty in the cinema halls as a youngster(if i could)...regret whistling for those power -packed dialogues....regret not being able to watch it on the 70 mm screen where it truly deserves to be worshipped..... i have fallen in love with this movie..
I feel too small a mortal to give a review on this movie but i definetly want to bring out all the flavors in this movie which made me soo happy watching this bollywood masterpiece...The two characters i terribly (sorry for my adjectives) enjoyed are Thakur-essayed with great elan by Sanjeev Kumar।Watching this movie made me fall in love with Sanjeev Kumar all over again-i loved him from days i watched his movies like Manchali,Silsila and the others of those times.And the other undoubtedly being Gabbar by Amjad Khan..he was worth a watch in his debute...not once did i feel that this might have been his first movie..his first taste of the silverscreen...his slippery dialogues...his boisterous laugh all fit perfectly in this already perfect movie... Believe me i would have watched a zillion spoofs of nearly every scene in this movie before watching it today...i would have seen soo many rip offs of the particular scenes in this movie but while watching the movie-i felt like i was watching every scene for the first time.. like i was feeling every scene for the first time ,every dialogue,every location,every everything...the first time!!!

There are very few Hindi movies which have a realistic effect all throughout...and this is definetely one of those...

*You want to feel the desperation of Thakur to have Gabbar alive..
*You want to feel the pain of Radha..the pain of loosing your husband and his immediate family soon after ones maritial status coming along..
*You want to feel the anger of Veeru when Jai-his best friend through thick and thin is dead..
*You also want to believe that just 2 people(Jai and Veeru) are enough to fight the army of dacoits around them..
*You also want to believe that yes....Thakur can fight against Gabbar with just his legs and his head alone ;)

Thats not all....generally when ur watching a movie your either sympathetic towards hero and his good men or towards the villan and his bad boys ..but this is one movie you would love both the sides...because both of them are brilliant and effortless in their own way...
The script being strong does justice to every character and every situtation shown..
The music feels appropriate- no unnecesary songs to prolong the movie..and the best part of the music is that there is minimalistic background score-which gives the viewer soo much attention and lets him feel the scene till the very end.And also unlike the movies of those days no sounds of "dishoom dishoom":)....
The setting seems perfect for us to picturise the gang of dacoits exploiting Ramgad.....
The part which i loved the most...the only mode of transport shown all throughout being primarily -horses....It was amazing to see every scene being shot with these 4 legged beauties which gives such a realistic feel to this movie...
And also nothing would make this movie as good as it is without the superb dialogues by Javed Akhtar, one of my favourite dialogue from this movie-
" यह रामगढ के आदमी अपने बेटियों को ,कौन चक्की का अता पीसते है रे !!!!!
" Wow what a dialogue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hats off to Ramesh Sippy and his crew for brewing up such a phenomenal movie....It was soo worth the 4 hours i spent on my comp today ...

Honestly i am very apprehensive of watching Ram Gopal Varmas -Sholay...It couldnt have got better than the original..but this chain of thoughts will be another post :)