I was just reading an article on surrogacy in Sunday Times today which made me think.
Motherhood is such an important phase of a woman's life.Every woman dreams of this miracle to happen to her at some point in her life.The gift of life being passed on is something inexplainable.The patience to go through pain and joy for a good 9 months is something soo hard to think of .
And then for women who are in-conceivable it must be a real hell to imagine that they cannot enjoy the gift every woman has in her. The pain to realise that you cannot have a biological child by yourself. Am sure its soo much of a void for such a woman, emotionally and psychologically hard for her to accept that she is incapable of having a biological child of her own.And then in the times of such desperation to have surrogacy into consideration is such a brave act.As far as i am aware, Surrogacy could mean sharing your womb , giving birth to a child whom you are going to relinquish to a childless couple.And i also know that there are different types of surrogacy.Where the biological mother becomes a surrogate to relinquish her child to someone else or could be a woman who gives birth to a child using IVF (conceiving through the eggs/sperms of donors). This practice has been quite controversial around the world and there are no clear legal rules applying around surrogacy, but i am not intending to go there.
And then for women who are in-conceivable it must be a real hell to imagine that they cannot enjoy the gift every woman has in her. The pain to realise that you cannot have a biological child by yourself. Am sure its soo much of a void for such a woman, emotionally and psychologically hard for her to accept that she is incapable of having a biological child of her own.And then in the times of such desperation to have surrogacy into consideration is such a brave act.As far as i am aware, Surrogacy could mean sharing your womb , giving birth to a child whom you are going to relinquish to a childless couple.And i also know that there are different types of surrogacy.Where the biological mother becomes a surrogate to relinquish her child to someone else or could be a woman who gives birth to a child using IVF (conceiving through the eggs/sperms of donors). This practice has been quite controversial around the world and there are no clear legal rules applying around surrogacy, but i am not intending to go there.
The article that i read today made me realise that it takes a lot of courage for both the childless couple and the surrogate to get into this partnership(sorry for the use of such a word). For the couple its more of an acceptance issue-that the child was not biologically theirs...their genetic lineage going haphazard and the issues related to identity of the child.It takes a lot of courage to look beyond this road-block for a couple and accept their child with all their love.Its truly respectable to break the social norms related to a child's biological identity and fingerprint and open doors to a wider perspective.And for the surrogate mother to go through the ritual of motherhood, shower all the care and kindness over a child she wont be able to call her own, is again courage defined at a different level.Yet again the reasons for entering surrogacy could be anything from helping a family member to monetary reasons.But whatever they may be , it takes a lot of will power and determination to give away a child you nurtured for soo long.To fight this conflict needs a lot of emotional and physical strength.
Whether people around the world or rather the section which we term 'society' accepts surrogacy, attempts to make it legitimate or not, i really salute the 2 parties who go forward into this act.Especially the surrogate mother who breaks the barriers surrounding her to bring joy and hope into the barren life of a childless couple.Ultimately it all boils down to will power and sheer courage to get into surrogacy.
Personally i don't think i will have the courage to go through a surrogate to bring up a child of mine(if it might be a case for me) but definitely appreciate couples who choose this.
6 comments:
yep!!.. we possible can't fathom the courage and will power necessary...
i can recall some movies which tried to portray this but don't even scratch the surface.
i guess not many ppl will ever get to realise this either.
nice one.. made me think for a while :D
very thoughtful. The discussion is very valid in terms of the courage required from both the couple and the surrogate mother.
Since the decision is completely personal, i wonder why some governments consider it illegal.
Before my last chain of thoughts gets mis-intepreted...i want to add that when i say i dont have the courage to get into surrogacy...its not the social qualms i am concerned about but whether i have the courage(which i do not at this point of time) to let the surrogate mother go through the pain of the entire process and also whether am ready to be courageous enough to face such a situation(if i ever get into it)..
Courage is a term that is pretty relative.It is a combination of inner will power and external environmental factors.
An upper middle class professionally successful woman would think twice nah hazaaar times to ever accept surrogacy.
A small town young woman from an orthodox set of value systems would need a lot of courage to fight social taboos and disapproval from family members to accept a surrogate child as her own.
A poor unskilled woman desperate to eke out a living to feed hungry mouths would hesitate little to accept being a surrogate, if that would fetch her money to keep her kitchen fires running.
Tough one really to define the courageous one here. Is courage just internal strength or environmental factors that default you into making certain decisions?
I loved this piece. It is so refreshing to read up on such topics. Thanks shravini for bringing such a poignant, and otherwise ignored issue, into the forefront.
Really liked it.
I loved this piece. Its so refreshing to read up on such topics. Thanks for bringing this poignant, and otherwise ignored issue, into the forefront.
I loved this piece.
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